a process of healing

I sat and listened to the heated conversation at the table next to me.

It was not with immediate effect, that i had taken upon myself to have a look at what the couple looked like, and thus, just listened. 

No guilt at hearing them, for, if they had cared enough, they would have shared their grievances in a less public place.

What was hurled between the two, is what made me take an interest to look at the owners and in return, recipients of the barrage of verbal diarrhoea  that spewed.

It was a shock. 

One would have imagined distorted angry faces, maybe witness of some sort of abuse of hard living...financial challenges obvious...hard living can make one bitter and when the economy leads to sleepless worrisome nights then 'love and understanding and patience' knows to fly out the window, a dabbling in an interest in things that may give instant gratification and mask the hardships, a relief and escape...just for a little while.

That was not the case.
She, a striking woman, very easy on the eye, not in the conventional sense...very woman. He, a worthy match to her stature, the stars had aligned successfully when the two of them had met. 
A superficial observation, a presentation before the eye. 
And were it not for the eavesdropping of my curious ears , i would have day dreamt about the possibility of a successful union of two people that were meant to be together. 

In all the time they were arguing, both of them tried their very best to project the demeanour of a couple at rest with each other... a convincing act except for those that were within hearing of the growl and anger and disgust and disappointment  in both their voices....the living of a lie.
It was obvious that the two had, at one point in time , been more than simply okay with each other. 
Somewhere along the line, the greed of expectation and the egocentric belief that one is more important in ones desires and needs, overtook any remnants of what it was that had brought the two together. 
of course, one can and should expect, dynamic positive change and growth in a successful relationship. 
But, where do the boundaries of the reality of things lie?

As an outsider, listening in, and basing my thoughts on a 'snapshot' of a relationship presented to me, i had a feeling of deja vu that i had seen this before...in most couples, irrespective of stature and standing in life. The bicker may be about a matter different but, the principle of the argument was the same.
An unhappy unfulfilled state of affairs, the belief that, one is either being taken foregranted, feeling lost and abused or, that nothing is good enough...ever. 
My thought and puzzlement rested on the question...is that the natural progression of relationships,  a state of dissatisfaction where one or both parties feel a state of loss and limbo?
The yearning and hankering for a personal awakening. 
Is it not the natural passage of life and getting older? A state of tiredness of 'living' that eventually is acknowledged and the realisation that it be time to let go again, and revert back to what one thinks one can be?

Whatever it may be, most couples are privy to  some dissatisfaction in a long term relationship. Maybe that is part and parcel of life being dynamic and ever evolving and ever changing.
But, when respect for another, that feeling of care, a loyal sincerity and desire to work at matters challenging between two people is lost, to be replaced with a vicious need to hurt and purposefully disappoint ones partner is prevalent, then best one says ones good byes very quickly and walks away. ....no matter the pain, no matter the challenge of the unknown....and in the case of the couple at the table next to me...i do hope they walked away from each other and gave each other a chance of healing and reconnecting with what really made them happy...the finding and understanding of self....because...sometimes...it is exactly that... the need to reconnect with ones self.

Nothing more.

RB.