the thing about empathy...

Some time back, i had this wonderful conversation, that may have bored most to tears. But, then again, for those who like to be introspective and learning of self, may have enjoyed to pipe in and give their view.

My companion voiced, that he did not think of himself, as a caring person for, he had no desire nor time to dwell on the sufferings of others, that his heart did not pain hearing of a loss or tragedy...there was very little that would move him ...and he found that he felt 'conditioned' to feel sadness rather than be empathetic and understanding of what another may be going through.
It made me think of myself, for he was of the opinion i was a better person than he, as i displayed those characteristics he thought he lacked.
How wrong he was.
Being the analytical person i am, i can sincerely say, it was a long time since i had shared in the company of another person who was more real, more honest, more sharing and giving than he.
For me, it boils down to being frugal about ones emotions, the honesty of the share, understanding the need and what one can do to help and be of help in whatever fashion possible.

The world has been made small by the Internet and various other sources of information share, bombarding us on a daily basis with atrocities and tragedies happening throughout the world, that an overload of information happens and thus a natural shut down of some sort... the mind and body protecting itself against this constant daily  attack.
 All of a sudden, the empathy that one may have felt for a vaster group of people,has been narrowed down to those closest and dearest, for, one cannot believe or see or trust that ones help or feelings shared, anywhere else, will be noted or appreciated or used in the correct way.
The reasoning being to be as honest and effective in ones share of emotion and help, feeling less effective on a broader platform?

The world of people seems to be at sorts with each other...over everything...political correctness confusing natural boundaries and the rule of nature. No matter what one may say or do...there is no satisfaction or understanding or reasoning to it....some idiot will find wrong in it...and thus...the frugality of ones emotion and help?
 ...to be a Mother Theresa takes a very special person, born every few hundred years,...that desire to give of self to such an extent that the self only finds satisfaction in total surrender to the people of this world.

In the smaller instance... it is all about the sincerity of the share for me and not the desire of the giver to be acknowledged and praised for what they have done...they care not for the accolade, they care that the receiver is in a better place...they care not to ask in return.

As to the rest of the world and its many philanthropists...not all of us were born to be part of that circle of people...but, charity does begin at home and does know to spill over into the vastness and rest of world...and possibly, that is how one can be part of that philanthropic group.

And thus, i can understand why he thinks he is emotionless and robotic....i know at times i too feel that way...and wonder what is wrong with me. And then i remember the many times, this companion of mine, who thinks he is 'feelingless', has comforted me in my hardships...reminding me, that i too may have had a positive effect on another in my small share.

To know to share without analysing it too much but, allowing the sincerity of that share to speak volumes...the receiver will recognise it for what it is...a gift from the bottom of your 'self'.


RB.