my 'Alice' in wonderland...
A recent article that i came across on Lewis Carroll the author, that otherwise would have left me surprised and shocked, brought back a memory ...
Since i know of myself as a child, i always loved the tale of "Alice in Wonderland" and, even gripped with the fear of falling down a hole, all of a sudden it was not that scary, cause what better adventure could one experience than that of Alice.
Then i got to university and, thanks to Shakespeare and my love of the English language, there was no hesitation in choosing English as one of my credits. What a surprise when Alice was to be discussed and her experience of Wonderland.
A fictional writing? Wow! How lucky was i...and i thought to myself, there was no chance i would not ace this part of my studies.
How wrong was i... what a challenge... i had to let go of what i knew the book to be, compared to the intellectual analysis i was going to be thrown into.
And there and then my child's love and understanding of the story was put to test. Never did it cross my mind that there were any sexual insinuations or innuendos in the story. Not once had i bothered to look up the history of the author or consider that much written may be based on questionable imaginings and thought. To me, it was a tale...a tale simply ...just... written.
And with that first rude introduction of what may be behind a tale written, so began my journey into the analysis of other fairy tales, only to discover that many fairy tales and their happily ever after endings had more sinister plots and meanings than one could have ever imagined.
This got me to asking myself....as a person who considers herself a writer of fiction rather than non-fiction....all those years ago, when Alice was my heroine , could i have known something in the recesses of my subconscious that drew me to her?
Considering my love of the sensual and erotic... Could it be, for as i have gotten older, Alice still fascinates me as does her story... her story was the beginning of my travels and the need of acknowledging sensuality for something natural and pure and real... the acknowledgement of the dangers that may lurk when sensuality be misunderstood and lead to deviant thought and action....but, what be deviant thought and action and who dictates what is acceptable or not?
Since i know of myself as a child, i always loved the tale of "Alice in Wonderland" and, even gripped with the fear of falling down a hole, all of a sudden it was not that scary, cause what better adventure could one experience than that of Alice.
Then i got to university and, thanks to Shakespeare and my love of the English language, there was no hesitation in choosing English as one of my credits. What a surprise when Alice was to be discussed and her experience of Wonderland.
A fictional writing? Wow! How lucky was i...and i thought to myself, there was no chance i would not ace this part of my studies.
How wrong was i... what a challenge... i had to let go of what i knew the book to be, compared to the intellectual analysis i was going to be thrown into.
And there and then my child's love and understanding of the story was put to test. Never did it cross my mind that there were any sexual insinuations or innuendos in the story. Not once had i bothered to look up the history of the author or consider that much written may be based on questionable imaginings and thought. To me, it was a tale...a tale simply ...just... written.
And with that first rude introduction of what may be behind a tale written, so began my journey into the analysis of other fairy tales, only to discover that many fairy tales and their happily ever after endings had more sinister plots and meanings than one could have ever imagined.
This got me to asking myself....as a person who considers herself a writer of fiction rather than non-fiction....all those years ago, when Alice was my heroine , could i have known something in the recesses of my subconscious that drew me to her?
Considering my love of the sensual and erotic... Could it be, for as i have gotten older, Alice still fascinates me as does her story... her story was the beginning of my travels and the need of acknowledging sensuality for something natural and pure and real... the acknowledgement of the dangers that may lurk when sensuality be misunderstood and lead to deviant thought and action....but, what be deviant thought and action and who dictates what is acceptable or not?
I know my love of the erotic and sensual makes many uncomfortable and they question my state of mind and belief when it comes to dabbling in pleasures bodily and mental. One should not fear ones own sexuality and sensuality. In accepting it, it does not in any way excuse or condone deviant behaviour of predators who prey on the innocence and beauty of what should be a given gift. Is that why some may be too scared to admit to their own bodily desires and needs?
Now going back to Alice...she still is one of my favourite heroines and her wonderland is still the way i choose it to be...that of an innocent child before it was tarnished by higher education in the lecture rooms of a university.
As to Lewis Carroll....i leave it up to u to decide as to what kind of person he may have been or not....i do not have the courage to even go down that route for it would destroy 'my Alice'.
Thus, 'my Alice' has grown into a wonderful woman who dares to look into the looking glass and venture into an adult world where it be perfectly fine to challenge societies ever changing ways and stand firm in judgement past / passed of which many are blatantly hypocritical.
RB.
Now going back to Alice...she still is one of my favourite heroines and her wonderland is still the way i choose it to be...that of an innocent child before it was tarnished by higher education in the lecture rooms of a university.
As to Lewis Carroll....i leave it up to u to decide as to what kind of person he may have been or not....i do not have the courage to even go down that route for it would destroy 'my Alice'.
Thus, 'my Alice' has grown into a wonderful woman who dares to look into the looking glass and venture into an adult world where it be perfectly fine to challenge societies ever changing ways and stand firm in judgement past / passed of which many are blatantly hypocritical.
RB.
Comments
Post a Comment