the duality of supporting what society considers taboo

Bare with me...a write inspired by much discussion taken place around sensuality and partnerships.

 Finding oneself in a space sensual, where emotions run high and the intimate self is laid bare, in more ways than one, it takes a huge amount of courage and understanding and acceptance of self to let go and take a leap of faith , believing that something good can be gained from such an exploit.

Before i continue, i would like to stress that, i, in no way, condone or promote any form of promiscuity but, matters sexual and sensual know to lead to unnecessary misunderstanding and breakdown in relations that could have been sorted if acknowledged and addressed....and thus my meandering post.

Recently, having had a conversation / debate with a gentleman, and then, being contacted by a stressed lady with respect to what she thinks is happening in her home, the duality of addressing sensuality and saying it is ok, i know will raise a few hairs on the backs of some people. But, possessing the maturity of emotion and logic, (quite an anomaly for logic tends to be without emotion) is needed in matters when it comes to intimate relations...and in most cases an outsider is able to do that rather than the parties involved in the crisis.

There we were indulging in each others good company when conversation took on a serious note. 
It revolved around sensuality and the need to acknowledge and understand the sensual and sexual needs of partners.
Due to the conversation being held with a gentleman, his comment was interesting as to the benefits of 'training' a new bride in the arts of intimate relations between husband and wife. A sort of 'school' where she would be taught how to please her man .
Of course...i had to ask him...that in return she would be pleased by her teacher?...for in order to reach that ultimate satisfaction and sweet spot, where both lovers are satiated and satisfied and understand each other..... it is a two way stream, is it not?.....and thus becoming a 'tarnished' new bride to be...?...acceptable?
My other question was based on how a potential bride is viewed and what is it that men, (many may not admit to it) look for in their potential wives and mothers-to-be of their children. 
Derogatory words i shall use but, i am sure it is not a 'slutty' type of girl that admits to having enjoyed sucking cock and sleeping with a number of men and knowing to swing from chandeliers and taking it from behind doggy style screaming 'Ride me baby! Fuck me harder!"
This kind of girl is the epitome of a porn fantasy many men would love to indulge in but, prefer to keep it a fantasy and not bring it home.
And before anybody thinks i am judging such behaviour and classifying it as unacceptable...if that is what u do with your partner / lover / husband...mutually agreed upon and enjoyed in private...well, heck why not!!

it is not to say that wives and those that are mothers do not know to be 'slutty' and drive their other half up the wall, with their seductive sensuality but, somewhere along the line she may have lost herself in the role of being everything else than that which she could be, feeling less attractive and sexy....plus....her belief of what a decent good wife is all about, all of a sudden takes on a different look. 
There may be that belief that being 'slutty' is religiously unacceptable, will make her other half think less of her and thus viewing herself above such 'unacceptable' and 'lowly' behaviour.

I find it strange and don't understand nor accept that something as beautiful as lovemaking and the possible discovery of each others bodies, in various ways, is viewed as sinful and lowly and that the Almighty would frown upon it and curse those that indulge. 
But, i do understand that as humans, preconceived ideas and societies viewpoints, that anyway are so fucked and confused and change from day in and out, tend to carry sway and know to influence, even the strongest of mind and belief, leading to unhappy situations in the home and behaviour questionable and hurtful.

And now to the call from a lady who was clearly stressed and concerned about what she thought were the dabbling of her husband in lurid lustful desires.
Again, i am not saying there are not those that do not indulge in the unacceptable, but knowing the environment on offer for such an indulgence, it is sad that the first thought of her partner would be that he is weak of character and easily turned to lustful wanton escapades.

There is no one answer as to why the need to consider and  indulge in matters intimate, out of ones home, for each home has its own dynamics and issues .

Is it weakness of character? Is it lack of intimacy? Is it a comfortable routine confusing it for satisfaction and happiness?  A drifting apart yet accepting of each other? 
The answer lies in being truthful with oneself and including the other half...wife or husband...as to one state of dissatisfaction. 

I know, easier said than done.

I am a great promoter and advocate sensuality , erotica and all those wonderful human intimacies The Almighty has blessed us with. 
For those who find it difficult to understand my unapologetic acknowledgement, maybe it be time to re-assess your understanding of what it means to be human, and learn to start living.....unapologetic and without judgement...with your partner of choice.

and in closing...contradictory it may be viewed as....

The question being....when we are with someone...are we looking for a 'sole' mate or a 'soul' mate...in both cases...are the possibilities for those idealistic of thought and wanting to look at the world through rose tinted glasses?
Am i saying it cant happen? 
Not at all.
The right place at the right time is what it takes. 
And for those who live happily in an unknown naive state of mind...why not...what counts is that it is your reality and of nobody else. 
Many a time certain things are best left untouched...it knows to reap its rewards later in ones life.
The choice is yours...what u seek u will find....and once u find it...if it makes u unhappy, ask yourself why and don't project blame onto the world, but take the bull by the horns and sort it out...if u happy...blessed be your state of mind!!! 

Now ride the crest of erotic sensuality and smile at the image of your satisfied being. There will be those who love u dearly and will smile with u and ride the same crest.

RB.