erotic maturity...do u have it?

So, if one should ask ...does one know to be erotic?
And the first thing one would whip out, is a porn movie or pictures explicit of full frontal nudity...the answer would be no.
Could one say that sensuality and erotica are subtle forms of seductive sexual play. That which knows to tease the eye, spur the imagination and awaken depths of longing and desire, a hankering for the suggestive display or play. That longing for a repeat of an experience that knows to linger and linger, for a time longer than a simple 'fuck'.
So, if in a situation where the partner be receptive to sexual advances yet, playful and teasing and maybe controlling of the situation, does it know to make one frustrated and angered and considered inappropriate, trying to hurry the moment on to full blown coitus...the importance being of personal relief and satisfaction.
Be there no appreciation or stimulus experienced and gained in the play , the attention and care given to mutually arouse and satisfy....be it through a visual tease, a touch suggestive, eyes telling, conversation arousing....scent?
Is it possible that there be a shortage of erotic maturity and the understanding thereof. Could it be that much of the unfulfilled feeling one eventually gets from sexual encounters is possibly from no personal investment in the moment but, rather a scenario of 'wham bam thank u ma'am' . 
And this play...it be not only about a man playing with a woman...why can it not be a woman playing with a man....?...tying him down, blindfolding him, stopping him in his desire to fondle a breast exposed, a nipple hard.
Why is it that a man feels uncomfortable or, out of his depths if a woman takes lead and dares to seduce and invite thoughts sexual. There be no greater reward than two creatures who know to be sensual ,know to be erotic and drive each other insane with lustful hunger that is within reach...yet...out of reach.
To be erotic, to be sensual, what would that take?
Is it something only few possess or is it something we all have but, are scared to admit and surrender to, feeling it is too telling and too personal and revealing...an exposure of self at the mercy of the other. Does it take a special person, a special moment to bring it out, or is it a mindset , a choice, a freedom of self to indulge without care or concern what anybody may think .
Like anything in life it possibly is something not many may be prone to nor will ever feel comfortable expressing or feeling. The question be...why?

RB.