Thursday, 3 May 2018

too late to try...?...



(dating talks - internet)

...conversing with another , hearing what was said, it got me to thinking...what if one knew to communicate, would it make a difference?

"...he was furious, agitated...no, actually, he was frustrated. So much out of his control, the expectation though, that he smooth sails through crisis after crisis. His desire to be intimate was non-existent. Yet. he burnt to be touched, kissed...feel wanted.
Another fucking morning of traffic, the muted silence in his home, no house, it no longer felt like a home...the routinely robotic bustle of children and wife going...where?...school?...did his kids even know he was around?
His wife, he had actually forgotten what she really looked like and thus, sat there and tried to catch a glimpse of a rushing figure.
He thought she had stopped to quickly peck him on the cheek...he wasn't sure...was it something he wished she would do and, hadn't actually happened?
He then tried to recall the last time he had stopped her with a full on kiss, on lips he knew were luscious and receiving of his.
Hearing her car drive away, he sat with his head in his hands and, wondered what had gone wrong. Theirs had been a good marriage, why hadn't he spoken up when he had that first feeling of them drifting apart.
What was it that had blackmailed him into silence?
The fear that she would think him confrontational, not understanding of her responsibilities as a mother and wife?
Would he be accused of not understanding that she felt less attractive and sexy after the birth of their children?
Would she throw in his face that parenting was not a joke and, that he had no idea what  it meant to be around their kids 24/7...drained?
Would he even understand that she felt less worthy all because she had chosen to put her career on hold to try be that perfect mother and wife?
It dawned on him...as much as she had managed to alienate him...just as much, he had never made the effort to show her how wrong she would have been in all her accusations.
It was easier to let it fester ...too busy giving the world a go and feeling good about getting there. And when the niggles of neglect gnawed at his desires, he had sort his little heaven in indiscretions lusty between the legs of a young babe...a babe he knew still had to learn what it meant to be a woman.
It was time he told his wife how much he missed her and how wrong she was.
The problem was, that he would never find out that his wife too, had found her little heaven in the arms of a virile lover...he would never know that when her car had left the driveway, and the kids were dropped off at school, she would be entertaining the soft kisses of a man devouring the sweet nectar between her spread legs. "

...and thus, my question...is there any coming back from secrets so intimate...?...too late for communication...?...

RB


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